Just Carl

A 27 year old Irish guy living in America with too much to say and not enough people to listen.

Day 2 of my 3 days off with absolutely nothing to do.

Out of donuts. Tea supplies running low. That stain on my bed still hasn’t just gone away. 

Send help.

I’ve eaten nothing but donuts for breakfast and lunch, and with dinner coming around I’m considering making it a home run. 

I’m still not entirely over the thought that this world I’m in might actually just be my own world with other people watching and focusing on me, and everything happening around me being part of some script.

Anonymous said: What one piece of relationship would you give to each gender?

I’m assuming you mean relationship advice.

Aren’t there like 42 genders now? Who has time for that?

OK let’s do this…

Straight Men: Find a woman who is fascinated by balls. Ignore all else. Find out her opinion on balls and go from there. 

Straight Women: Find a man with clean balls. 

Gay Men: Find a man with clean balls.

Gay Women: Doesn’t matter. Just be thankful you don’t have to deal with balls.

I am ignoring all other orientations and gender-types because I am a cis-shitlord-oppressor and I am their enemy.

Despite believing that now is too early to break free and more plans need to be made before Scotland is ready to go alone, I’m finding it really strange to see people jump up and down in celebration that their nation remains part of arguably the most archaic union in the western world. 

Nothing “good” happened, they just kind of, I dunno… remain. 

I have to admit a certain amount of bias here, considering I’m from a country that fought to escape what was essentially an out-dated empire that leached off of smaller nations it fucked over for centuries. But even putting that aside, the whole “Kingdom” idea was considered out-dated worldwide in the late 19th/early 20th century. It’s really fucking weird to see people celebrate being part of it in 2014. They’re actually happy to consider themselves part of a “British Empire”. That is so fucking strange.

I’m not having a go at No voters. I totally get being uncertain and not trusting the right people are in place to lead your country as a solo entity. This is aimed at the Union Jack waving droolers who wait 36 hours in the rain to see the Queen wave in a direction somewhat near them.

Scotland fucked themselves by having this referendum before having a plan. Anyway, whatever happens, good luck to them. If having 46% of a country wanting you to fuck off isn’t enough for the UK to step into the 21st century, then I don’t know what is. 

See you all in 5-10 years time when we’re doing all this again.

Happy Dependence Day, Scotland!

Looks inevitable.

Looks inevitable.

Trying to follow live polling for the Scottish referendum. 

"60% Yes!"… "YouGov say 54% NO" … "10 cases of voter fraud" … "A ‘no’ counter full of votes counted as no with ‘yes’ being the actual vote". 

Total shitshow. I’ll ignore it and check back in a couple of hours.

I think they added Irish Celtic fans to the vote.

I think they added Irish Celtic fans to the vote.