Just Carl

Carl [kahrl] -noun
1. A strong, robust fellow, especially a strong manual laborer. 2. A miser; an extremely thrifty person. 3. A 27 year old Irish guy living in America with too much to say and not enough people to listen.

I’ll believe it when I see it. Thieving cunts.

I’ll believe it when I see it. Thieving cunts.

If I post a photo of a sandwich, you lot freak the fuck out, send me hate mail for eating meat, praise my culinary skills, advise me on a better sandwich, tell me about the last sandwich you had…

I post a photo of a three mile traffic jam, with fire trucks, ambulances, and a fucking helicopter on the road, I get nothing. 

Tumblr, man.

GUYS. 

GUYS…. she knows about Gandalf… AND SMÉAGOL. 

She knows Middle Earth characters! DO YOU GET IT? DO YOU SEE? SHE’S A DORK! SO QUIRKY! LOOK AT HER SLANTED GLASSES GUYS. SHE DOESN’T CARE BECAUSE SHE’S SO DORKY AND QUIRKY!

(Source: ravenclawinabluebox)

Meanwhile, on Snapchat…

CBS JUST ANNOUNCED COLBERT IS REPLACING LETTERMAN

THAT’S THE SAME NETWORK AS CRAIG FERGUSON.

Oh my shit, CBS is so much better than everyone else.

Source http://m.today.com/entertainment/stephen-colbert-named-next-host-late-show-2D79511500

justcarl:

Clearing out some inactive accounts from my snapchat. 

Replace them with your activity! 

IrishInCali

Last call on this before I delete. You really are missing out on the magical world that is my life if you’re not on here. 

Those on there with me have seen me:

  • Mow grass
  • Eat a taco
  • Lie in bed
  • Sit at a bar
  • Dry off after a shower
  • Drive past a Carl’s Jr. and comment on the name.

The fun never ends!

This yard was a total wreck before I started work. I’m a proud garden daddy!

This yard was a total wreck before I started work. I’m a proud garden daddy!

Equality for Most.

April 1st is the worst day of the year to be on the internet.

1. Exaggerate a lie about something important.

2. Reap the attention you so desperately need.

3. Announce you were just kidding, even though 90% of replies were pointing out how they knew you were kidding.

4. LOL OMG guys I’m so random, FOOLED YOU.

5. Go back to your wretched unimportance for another 364 days.

Just felt my first earthquake!